Impulse Control
“A lot of kids nowadays have grown up macho. They can’t take a dirty look; they can’t take a harsh word; and they definitely can’t take a slap on the back of the head from some cheap-shot artist on the other team. But mature players will absorb these excesses in stride, even when they’re out-and-out flagrant. I tell my players to put their emotions on hold, to stone-face their opponents... If you lose your cool, no matter what the provocation, you’re giving the other side the table a diagram on how to push your buttons.” -Bill Parcells
Admit it. You’ve done it before. You have eaten one more cookie when you said you wouldn’t. You have gone out to the movies when you knew you needed to study. What this is called is acting on your impulses. Impulse control, which means controlling these reactions to the impulses that come from our basic drives and emotions, is what keeps our minds in check.
Something to Think About
Are you in control of your impulses? Ask yourself these questions.
- Do you get frustrated when someone tells you something you don’t want to hear?
- Do you hate waiting in line at the grocery store?
- If someone accidently bumps into you, do you get mad quickly?
Breaking It Down.
Parts of these impulses, especially when it comes to sports, are anger and aggression. Obviously you know what these are, but let’s go ahead and define them for our purposes anyway.
Stay cool. Maintain your poise.
Anger.
Anger is a strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure or hostility. Being angry is as normal as being happy, and people show their emotion in different ways. Some athletes let it all out, while with others, you can’t tell anything is bothering them. Either way, it can negatively affect the way you play.
Athletes that either direct their anger at themselves or attempt to suppress it. Example: Kicking the dirt or cursing out loud after a mistake during the competition. Outcome: Your performance may suffer because you’re no longer concentrating on the competitive task at hand.
Typically a physical or verbal outrage towards other people or convenient objects such as a chair. Example: Shoving an opponent after a hard foul in basketball or throwing a chair on the floor when frustrated at the officials. Outcome: Usually leads to more severe consequences such as getting ejected from a game.
Aggression.
Aggression is a little more difficult to define because there are two different types. Take a look at the table below to learn more about these types. As you can see, aggression is not always a bad thing.
Involves perpetrating an injurious act against an opponent after a verbal or physical provocation Outside of what is considered admissible in sport Example: A late hit out of bounds in football, intentionally throwing at a batter in baseball or softball
Intentional infliction of injury to obtain some benefit Goal is to cause a nuisance to an opponent in the hope of hindering her or his performance Complies with the sport's regulations Example: Finishing a check in hockey, swinging your elbows after securing a rebound to keep defenders away in basketball
The ability to control your emotions is important to being successful. The intense competitive atmosphere and “win-at-all-costs” mentality of some athletes leads them to vent anger on opponents, officials, and fans. An angry out of control athlete will never be as successful as they can be and most likely will hurt their teams’ performance as well
Sometimes, instrumental aggression by one athlete can lead to reactive aggression by another. Imagine this scenario. An athlete is going up for a lay-up in basketball and the opponent fouls them hard making sure they aren’t able to make the basket. It is a clean foul since the opponent was going for the ball, but they athlete believes it was a deliberate act to hurt them and take them out of the game. So the athlete responds by yelling and pushing the opponent and the clean foul quickly escalates out of control to and the athlete receives a technical foul.
Let’s be clear about something. We’re not suggesting that you show no negative emotion when you play. There will be times that you will be downright frustrated no matter what sport you play. It’s just part of the game. Maybe you’re a pitcher and you feel the umpire is squeezing you, or you’re the hitter and you just got rung up on a pitch six inches off the plate. Maybe you were the victim of a cheap hit in hockey when you weren’t yet in control of the puck. Be frustrated. Use it as a motivational tool, but use it correctly. The moment you start to let your negative feelings affect your play by trying to do too much, or when you retaliate against your opponent, you’ve gone too far.
IN ACTION
Zinedine Zidane is one of the world's best soccer players but he's now known as much for his famous meltdown at the 2006 World Cup as he is for his soccer skills. During the World Cup Final between Italy and France, Zidane head- butted Italian player, Marco Materazzi in the chest after Materazzi made a sly remark about Zidane. Zidane was ejected from the game, which Italy eventually won on penalty kicks. No one knows for sure what Materazzi said, but it doesn't really matter. Zidane’s meltdown may have cost his team the World Cup.
The
Tools to
Improve
Proven methods to improve your impulse control. Trust us. They work.
Log It.
Objective: Write down what makes you mad. Document how you felt, what you did in the situation, and develop plans to improve upon it for next time. This will help you predict the situations that are likely to trigger anger because you will learn to be aware of situational cues that set off an anger response. Also helps: Goal-Setting
Something to Think About Use the template below to get started with the activity on the left.
Objective: Become more aware of your triggers. When you play in pick-up games or in practice, take note of how you respond to events that trigger negative emotion. This way, you will have a better understanding of how you’ll react come game time. Also helps: Goal-Setting, Coachability & Leadership
Objective: Minimize the tension. Talking smack to your opponents will increase the level of tension between you, which can lead to a confrontation. It’s great that you have confidence. It’s great that you think you are better than them. But keep those thoughts in your head. When you make a great play, act like you’ve done it before. Just a little wry smile at the end of the day and the satisfaction of a job well done is all you need. Also helps: Focus & Concentration & Leadership
Objective: Relax. Take deep breaths. This will slow down your heart rate and heavy breathing that usually escalate before you act on an impulse. So before you yell at the ref or say something to your parents that you know you’ll regret later, take five or 10 deep breaths. If after that you find that you’re still not happy, well, at least you’ll be able to discuss it in a more calm fashion. Also helps: Stress Management
Objective: Prepare yourself in advance. Periodically during the game abide by the routine of “Stop-Look-Listen”. First, stop what you’re doing and show self-control... especially as the situation becomes more intense. Second, look around and conduct a visual analysis of the situation. Third, listen to cues and understand what is going on around you. Then act. You do this all the time before you cross the street. It prepares your mind. You can do this between plays in a game. Get your ears open. The more you think about your situation and are aware, the less likely it is you will lose your composure or react emotionally because you won’t be caught off guard. Also helps: Stress Management
Impulse control is more than just learning how to curb your temptations; it is also about improving your patience. Below are a few games and activities that will help you do just that.
In the course of a lifetime, does it really matter?
This is a great question to ask yourself on and off the playing field. If you have to wait in line a few extra minutes or if you ask for no tomatoes, but instead they give you extra – are these battles really worth fighting? Next time something doesn’t go your way, take a moment to think this through.